Re-leafing myself in public

My entry into this week's Terrible Poetry contest on the theme of spring or autumn, depending on your hemisphere. (with apologies to His Bobness)   As the calendula ticks (not to be confused with cattle ticks) over to the March of the sugar plum fairies I vow to turn over a new leaf. But I …

Ern Malley Incarnate (Vegan Options Available)

‘Now is the winter of our wet cement’ quoth Lucy in her sty with diamonds in her silk-purse ears. Meanwhile, in a battlefield far, far, away, Dicky Three hunched his back, despairing at the sward strewn with sordid, sworded bodies in his path and cried ‘A hearse, a hearse, my kingdom for a hearse’. Hearing …

From bottom-burps to bogeys

This was written for the weekly Terrible Poetry challenge. The divine Ms. Chelsea says ‘the topic is the cute (or 'cute') things that kids say. I'll admit I'm more inspired by the parenthetical version after our dinner conversations lately. What is it with young children (perhaps just with boys) and potty humor? Do they really think …

Little Willie poems

These arise from the very excellent Terrible Poetry site's challenge for this week to write a Little Willie poem. The name comes from a way of writing poetry that was popular in the early 1900s, where each exponent tried to invent a catastrophe more gory in event and more nonchalant in effect than its predecessor. …

Dear Miss Flanagan

This was written for this week's Terrible Poetry Contest prompt. "I'd like every one of you to remember your First Love. What did he or she look like, smell like, eat his/her boogers like? MOST IMPORTANTLY: if you were to write that person a poem, in exactly the advanced writing abilities you had at the …

Be still my swell-ed heart

This piece was written for this week's Terrible Poetry challenge, a love sonnet, and was joint winner.   Be still, my swell-ed heart, by Shake’s peer (aka Doug Jacquier) I did but see her glassy-eyed, astride her pied ride as she wended to her home, sighing in her saddle set to the side, clutching her …

A farnarkeling good adventure

This my response to this week's Terrible Poetry challenge to create an epic poem about a great adventure.   Upon a nonce, amidst general farnarkerling, a fair maiden did set her sights on a handsome prince in tights so she could wear his ring a’sparkling.   In her way, as was her feckless fancy, she …

The Giant Mozzie of Kozzie

This piece was written for the weekly Terrible Poetry contest, using the theme 'The Big Rock Candy Mountain'. Might I humbly suggest this will romp it in. And in fact it did! https://chelseaannowens.com/2020/01/24/winner-of-the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest-47/ I went searchin’ for the treasure The wealth beyond measure That would bring me great pleasure Up there in the blue azure. …

God bleakly ignoring midwinter

Thanks to my UK blog pal Bryntin , I came across this delightful site, Terrible Poetry and have submitted this entry under the prompt 'The Bleak Midwinter". The bleak midwinter arrived in the middle of winter and it was bleak. Not moor bleak; more bleak than that. The wind was keen, not in that American neat …

Discovery Bay

The signs don't work 'cos the vandals took the handles but the dune charioteers look after their own. (It seems obscurity is merely an absence of old fruit boxes and black paint.) Along a graded road as straight as the line on the forestry map, we inspect the commercial pines at parade attention, shoulders branch …