Ern Malley Incarnate (Vegan Options Available)

This piece was written for the Terrible Poetry challenge centred on the Bard of Australia, Ern Malley . Can't think who could have alerted the charming Ms Chelsea Owens to Ern's stellar career.   ‘Now is the winter of our wet cement’ quoth Lucy in her sty with diamonds in her silk-purse ears. Meanwhile, in …

Perce P Cassidy and the Sunblock Kid

This was written for the Terrible Poetry prompt of the topic of anniversaries, especially diamond ones. 60 years they been ridin’ together only these days they ride by rail, Perce’s face like Nebuchadnezzar, The Kid a whiter shade of pale.   Despite all that Hollywood drivel These two are indefatigable Although The Kid has developed …

Little Willie poems

These arise from the very excellent Terrible Poetry site's challenge for this week to write a Little Willie poem. The name comes from a way of writing poetry that was popular in the early 1900s, where each exponent tried to invent a catastrophe more gory in event and more nonchalant in effect than its predecessor. …

Dear Miss Flanagan

This was written for this week's Terrible Poetry Contest prompt. "I'd like every one of you to remember your First Love. What did he or she look like, smell like, eat his/her boogers like? MOST IMPORTANTLY: if you were to write that person a poem, in exactly the advanced writing abilities you had at the …

Be still my swell-ed heart

This piece was written for this week's Terrible Poetry challenge, a love sonnet, and was joint winner.   Be still, my swell-ed heart, by Shake’s peer (aka Doug Jacquier) I did but see her glassy-eyed, astride her pied ride as she wended to her home, sighing in her saddle set to the side, clutching her …

A farnarkeling good adventure

This my response to this week's Terrible Poetry challenge to create an epic poem about a great adventure.   Upon a nonce, amidst general farnarkerling, a fair maiden did set her sights on a handsome prince in tights so she could wear his ring a’sparkling.   In her way, as was her feckless fancy, she …

The Giant Mozzie of Kozzie

This piece was written for the weekly Terrible Poetry contest, using the theme 'The Big Rock Candy Mountain'. Might I humbly suggest this will romp it in. And in fact it did! https://chelseaannowens.com/2020/01/24/winner-of-the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest-47/ I went searchin’ for the treasure The wealth beyond measure That would bring me great pleasure Up there in the blue azure. …

God bleakly ignoring midwinter

Thanks to my UK blog pal Bryntin , I came across this delightful site, Terrible Poetry and have submitted this entry under the prompt 'The Bleak Midwinter". The bleak midwinter arrived in the middle of winter and it was bleak. Not moor bleak; more bleak than that. The wind was keen, not in that American neat …