Re-born

‘We grew up together, From the cradle to the grave, We died and were reborn, And then mysteriously saved.’ -  Bob Dylan ‘Oh, Sister’. It was Charles who first noticed it. We were sitting in the back room of the abandoned offices that were our temporary home when he said ‘You know, we could be brothers.’ I …

Grumblebum’s Balls of Fate

This piece was written for Fractured Lit , with the challenge to submit 'stories of ghosts, fables, allegory, and fractured fairy tales in 1,000 words or less ... that investigate the mysteries of being human, the sorrow, and the joy of connecting to the diverse population around us.' With his clumpy red hair, his face …

The Palace of the Silver Screen

Welcome to the Grand Opening of my new cinema, The Palace of the Silver Screen! New in the sense of technology and fit-out but decidedly retro in bringing back the movie theatre experience of the Golden Days of Hollywood. Thrill to the experience of luxurious electrically heated seats, which double as non-lethal electric chairs. Laugh …

Me and you and DSU, unhappy together.

When James woke up, the first thing he saw was Helen sitting in a stiff-backed faux leather hospital armchair and the first thing he heard was her reading a passage from ‘The Grapes of Wrath’, in a passable American accent. He grunted to get her attention. She barely raised her eyes at the noise but …

The final siren

‘Jo’, he said, as they sat, in their ancient re-cycled armchairs on the back verandah, watching dusk descend upon on ‘The Farm’, aka the backyard patch they had labored long and hard to rescue from suburban desertification. Knowing she was listening, he continued, ‘When did you first decide that you loved me?’. She knew this …

Mervyn Martian and Edgar Earthling discuss jobs

Mervyn: Edgar, what is a ‘job’? Edgar: It’s task or a set of tasks that an employer pays you to complete. The money you receive pays for your food, housing, clothing etc. M: But I keep hearing that there aren’t enough jobs, so people have no money. E: Well, they get some money from the …

Black is the colour where none is the number

In these more enlightened days, appearing in blackface is quite rightly considered offensive and unacceptable. I can only plead ignorance and the thoughtlessness of youth in my defence and seek the forgiveness of people of colour. In my callow youth, I was a thespian, albeit an amateur of the species. (No, Doris, I said ‘thespian’. …

Steady Eddie

Aeons ago, in 1960’s Australia, the post WWII baby boom hit the high schools and technical schools like a freight train. Now, visually-impaired Freddie could have predicted this but it seemed to take education authorities by complete surprise. Jerry-built schools began to pop up like mushrooms across the suburbs. These ‘temporary’ structures were around for …

Roland the Mindless

Everyone knew when Roland was awake because he would be talking. Not just occasionally but a never-ending, mind-numbing ragbag of trivia, balderdash and self-directed praise. His interest in anyone in his orbit was zero. It was as if people only existed to provide the appearance that he was not talking to himself, which of course …

The Carnivores’ Last Stand

They’d had enough. Under the leadership of the big red kangaroo, RangaKanga (aka The Bouncer), they’d gathered to plot their revenge. Baaaasil (aka The Human-Battering Ram) had had enough of being fleeced and having his offspring end up as Sunday lunch. Beardy (aka Billy The Kid) was tired of having his wives’ teats pulled for …