Sarah’s Fountain of Youth

This piece was written for the Six Sentence challenge, with the prompt word of ‘fountain’.

When Sarah N. Dipity had a pond dug in her back garden by two strapping young lads, which her adult children accused her of using as eye-candy, she’d originally planned to fill it with fish and water plants and live frogs sitting on lily pads, to amuse her at dusk as she sat sipping on her medicinal scotch.

However, before her vision could be achieved, the pond began to be populated by various people from the past, starting with Ichabod ‘Icky’ Snodgrass, her primary school friend who had a penchant for mining his nose and eating the contents, giving his long and flexible fingers training for his later career as concert pianist.

Soon after came her constant teenage companion, Sally ‘No-knickers’ Forth, whose early expertise in doing cartwheels brought new meaning to sex education and who would later become wife to the Prime Minister, Willy ‘Will-he-ever’ Rise, and together, like Brangelina, they became the Forth Dimension in the media.

She was soon followed by Billy ‘Donkey’ Rider, the first boyfriend that Sarah allowed to progress beyond inept fumblings with bra-straps, thus discovering while skinny-dipping with him why he was called Donkey, and who would later become the Vicar at Great Snoring in North Norfolk, on the banks of the River Stiffkey.

And finally, late as always, came Wheeler ‘Dealer’ Tollpuddle, whom she met at University and who introduced her to many things, including a detailed knowledge of field mushrooms and their potential uses, who would go on to become a famous motivational speaker after writing ‘Don’t Be A Martyr To Your Conscience’ and ‘The Rich Are Never Filthy’.

All Sarah needed now was to purchase one of those solar-powered floating devices, the ones that wander at random around pools and ponds spraying an assortment of shapes and patterns, thus completing her eternal fairy-light-draped Fountain of Youth at the bottom of her garden, to amuse her endlessly, as the level in the Chivas Regal bottle dropped in the evening light.

28 thoughts on “Sarah’s Fountain of Youth

  1. OK, Doug. So right off the bat, after consuming almost my 1st round of coffee, I began to smile widely, stifling the laugh already waiting in the wings.
    I believe I’m familiar enough with your Sixes to take the cue from the 1st character’s name, lol.
    You’ve struck the funny bone once again 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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