The conspiracy conspiracy

Transcript from One World Government meeting held in Zurich, 9 August 2021, sensationally published by Wikileaks.

President Frilled-neck Lizard presiding.

President: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Our first item of business is the Conspiracy Conspiracy. Your report please, Q.

Q: Thank you, Mr. President. As you know, Phase 1 involved creating my follower base of conspiracy theorists, rednecks, anarchists and Republicans by convincing them that I was the anonymous secret mouthpiece of Trump. (General laughter.) Phase 2 involved convincing them, with the help of FoxNews, that Covid-19 was a hoax. Phase 3 was about generating fear of being controlled by vaccines developed by aliens and Microsoft. We are now entering Phase 4, code-named Delta.

President: What will this involve?

Q: Essentially nothing, Mr. President. We just have to sit back and let ‘my’ followers die.

(Interjection)

Gunter Techover: On behalf of the Shelf Company High Investors Technology Syndicate, I am concerned about the collateral damage.

Q: You mean to innocent people?

Gunter: Yes. Well, at least innocent people we haven’t yet managed to separate from their poorly invested savings.

Q: We’re giving them a Christmas present. By then, anyone who wants to be vaccinated will be and let the Devil take the unvaccinated.

President: Meaning?

Q: Meaning the electoral map of the US at the next Presidential election will be a sea of blue. And, after the landslide, we declare martial law in the interests of … well, our interests really. That will include refusal of treatment to any Covid victim who hasn’t been vaccinated, which will speed up our social hygiene program even more.

President: You’ve done a magnificent job, Q, and the world will be in our debt.

Q: I sincerely hope so, Bill.

(General laughter)

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