This preposterous piece of poetic puerility was written for the divine Ms. Owen’s ‘A Mused Poetry’ prompt for this week: ‘Snarky Rant. That’s right: a jaded, sarcastic, fed up, perhaps even nihilistic poem in an “I stick it to you, sucky events!” manner.‘ I’ll thank Charles Dodgson for the inspiration when next I see him.
The time has come, so all us said,
to not talk of many things:
of twits and tweets to ‘mind your beeswax’
of savages and would-be kings
of whether votes are fixed or not
and whether pigs have wings.
Be gone, your wretched plague talk
of drinking Kool-Aid with your bleach
of bingeing booze and Netflix
of not going to the beach
of ‘who is that masked stranger?’
No more, I do beseech!
Let’s rid ourselves of poverty
Of coherent speech and word
Spike the ‘like’ and ‘whatever’
Treat WTF as if a steaming t**d
Let’s have a pedant as a President,
a VP proud to be a nerd.
Fie upon the boomer bashers
Flinging our legacy askew
Blaming us for every ill
From planet to housing queue
End their blameless sanctimony;
Vegans, anyone, on the barbecue?