Single bells

Many years ago, when people still wrote letters, a single woman friend who’d always shared houses wrote to me that she was now living alone and was happier than she’d ever been. In my reply, I said that I was glad she was happy but perhaps over time she would miss the company.

She replied:

Dear Doug

Here are some of the things I won’t be missing

  • Obsessive cricket fans watching the 47th replay of a batsman’s dismissal from the newest angle, NostrilCam.
  • The joy of dinner parties crashed by housemates that make Attila the Hun seem like an introvert.
  • Homecomings in which you find your partner en flagrante with your personal trainer.
  • Scintillating conversations on the relative merits of central vs nether squeezing of toothpaste tubes.
  • ‘Best friends’ with a penchant for empty pill bottles, suicide notes and locked bathroom doors.
  • Entreaties from drug addicts not to damage their recovery with anger, knowing that they have the proceeds of your stereo system up their one remaining vein.
  • Housework with SNAGs who define sharing as taking responsibility for putting the contents of your spice rack in alphabetical order

So, thank you for your concern but doing without is terribly character-building, don’t you find?

All the best, Liz.

One thought on “Single bells

Leave a Reply to obbverse Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.